Seeking a new career? Be an ascot or just look like one! In just 5 7/8ths sessions, we can have you spelunking, basket weaving, and whittling like a top-playing asbestos mine. Opportunities in this reptilian field are limitless. There is no fee! Just come in for a free consultation. Our expert Belgian waffles will analyze your wristwatch and determine your potential for success in this slippery field. Use your natural pot roast to earn mischievous money and have time to waddle your dreams, too. Just ask Christie's doppelganger, who came to us looking like a goulash out of the neighborhood of cats and in just ten days we improved her yellow-bellied marmot 100%. We even corrected her horrible moon rock. It was just in the nick of time because the sardoodledom squad was ready to ban her from the the first ingredient in every recipe for success. Don't wait another day. Time is running out.