FOOTBALL IN TUXEDOS

5 THINGS YOU HATE
1. Eating most veggies
2. Braggy people
3. That dude from the 'free credit report.com' commercials who sings
4. Having a popcorn kernel stuck in yr teeth for a long time, but i don't eat popcorn anymore really
5. That show 'The Middle'

5 THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
1. Ladies (romantically speaking)
2. The ongoing Hollywood remake fest
3. Chinese
4. How Lasik eye surgery works
5. Babies, when they talk

5 THINGS ON YOUR DESK
1. Wolverine bobble-head
2. Cell phone
3. X-ray badge
4. Regular phone
5. Water in a cup

5 THINGS YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW
1. Being 'on lunch'
2. Listening to Ian Mackaye singing
3. Checking Facebook
4. Looking at my Goosebumps desktop
5. Wishing for spring

5 NEGATIVE FACTS ABOUT YOU
1. I can be lazy
2. I am physically unable to ask out girls
3. I have a blog
4. I don't write as often as I should
5. I still have a Christmas card hanging on the wall in front of me

5 POSITIVE FACTS ABOUT YOU
1. People say I'm funny
2. I am physically unable to ask out girls
3. I have all 62 books in the original Goosebumps series
4. I love my friends
5. I don't watch reality tv

5 THINGS YOU PLAN TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Find treasure
2. Go to the Great Wall of China and walk up to a stranger and say, "It's not that great"
3. Walk on Saturn
4. Join a softball league in my 40's
5. Fondly reminisce

5 THINGS YOU CAN'T DO
1. Ride a horse (I'm assuming)
2. Ride a bike (for real)
3. Say or write the word 'tweet' in respect to Twitter
4. Drive 55...that was my favorite video when I was like 8
5. Afford, or justify spending the money, on all the dvd boxed sets of 'Are You Afraid of the Dark'

5 OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS
1. 'Teenage Super Party' by Wavves
2. 'Cast Off Crown' by Deerhoof
3. 'Trouble Comes Running' by Spoon
4. 'Lottery Dust' by Drummer
5. 'Temecula Sunrise' by Dirty Projectors

5 THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT TURN YOU ON
1. Large features: lips, eyes, and of course brain (yeah, you heard it! I like a smart woman)
2. Good taste in music and comedy
3. Speech impediments
4. Genuinely nice
5. Mindblowingly gorgeous

5 PEOPLE CURRENTLY ON YOUR BAD SIDE
1. Anyone on Twitter than I wish would write more and doesn't
2. Leno, now and forever
3. One or two of my co-workers
4. My glasses, they're always dusty...I can't think of any more people
5. Cyclops, I've always disliked him