Friday, February 27, 2009

SPECIAL INTEREST

I have a bit of an obsession with the phrase "going out of business". If a store is closing up shop I have to get in on it, all the better if they sell cd's or videos or dvd's. Circuit City is a bit of a ghost town sprinkled with weirdo stragglers looking for plasmas and super cheap copies of Beer for My Horses (actually there were some left, next to the first season of Ghost Whisperer and Return to House on Haunted Hill). I have this anticipation of people running around, knocking each other over to get a bunch of crap. It's a let down though, people act more like pseudo tech savvy zombies. I did get Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story for 60% off, which is a decent find, but I think that's my last CC run. The strangest thing is that they still have like 5 copies of Kanye West's Graduation album. Isn't that weird? At 60% off Kanye's not moving? I was shocked, that's all I'm saying. So yeah, no big screen tv riots, bummer city.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

TATTERDEMALION AND A JUNKETER

I haven't been feeling well lately, on and off. My hope is that my diet of Stella Artois and Count Chocula is helping to fight off the winter's-end germies.

In the last 3 days I've made it through about 270 pages of Lemmy's autobiography White Line Fever, and I've got to say it's a pretty satisfying read. You get the sense that he's a pretty down to earth guy, which I like, same with Ron Jeremy in his book. I will say that it has made me want to own every Motorhead record there is...and apparently there's like 20. I've never (consciously) looked for Motorhead used records, they always seemed like a CD-with-bonus-tracks band to me. And I'm ashamed to say I've never even heard Hawkwind, I knew he was in the band but I never came across them. Used Motorhead, I'm into it.

Other things I'm into right now: VH1's Black to the Future, "I'm Sticking with You" by The Velvet Underground, Richard Simmons on TMZ singing Beyonce, Little Joy (what a great record that is), crosswords, water (anytime I feel really shitty I just drink a bottle of water and assume that will cure me), The Office, the new season of Tim and Eric, Shoplifting (the band), the new season of Xavier: Renegade Angel (although the last one was a little weird), and Queen II. The title of this entry is a lyric from the record, I have no idea what it means.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

F DAY THE ONE THREE

All this talk about friday the 13th...may as well see the new film of the same name. I gotta say, I was not impressed. Not that anyone reads this bloggy anyway, but if you do and you have not seen this film and you want to see this film STOP READING NOW because I may or may not write some kind of spoiler.
All I know is that old school Jason was not meant for these times. These days EVERY crazy killer has some kind of intricate underground system of tunnels complete with booby-traps and all this other shit that can only make you think, 'how did this person ever get all this together?' Well guess what Jason has...an elaborate system of tunnels under the old Camp Crystal Lake. Jason doesn't need some subterranean lair, he just exists in the forest, he doesn't need to have like, an apartment. The movie itself wasn't terrible, it had all the basics and all the right kids and all of that but it wasn't really ever shocking. Every opportunity to have Jason appear behind someone from out of the darkness right before the kill was used. How many times can you see the same shot of a pathetic teen with a towering Jason over him/her before you need a change? The deaths (which is a top 3 reason to watch these movies) were not up to par either, there was a lot of impaling one way or another and overall it was pretty mediocre. You can also judge a Jason movie by who survives and that was easily the worst part of the movie. Here comes that spoiler I told you about. A goddamn brother and sister survive. Are you kidding? That's the worst male/female pair of survivors you can have. Not only is it lame that a bro and sis survive, but it's how they do it. The sister is seemingly killed along with her friends in the very beginning of the film, her brother comes along 6 weeks later and eventually enlists the help of a cocky dude's nice and rather virtuous girlfriend to help him look around CCL for her. Turns out that Jason, for one reason or another, did not kill the sister but is keeping her chained up in his underground pad. So blah blah death death and the brother and the nice girlfriend find the sister in the tunnels and as they are escaping Jason kills the nice girlfriend. What? If anything the brother should get killed saving his sister, but that's not going to happen because he used to date Rory Gilmore. So okay, the nice gf is dead and the siblings take Jason down using a combination of chain, machete, and wood chipper (Fargo? No, he doesn't actually go into it). Then they release his gigantic body back into the lake and as soon as they drop his Mother's locket into the lake he reemerges newly reborn with rage! He comes up through the dock and grabs the sister, who pretended to be his mom twice. Once the sequel come out she will most likely be fine and everyone will deny that ever happened. It wasn't a TERRIBLE movie, but I was bummed. I like to root for Jason and I had a legitimate hope he would actually kill all the kids, but you don't get that kind of ending in movies...just video games.

Friday, February 13, 2009

SIZZLIN' STEAKS AND CREAMY CAKES

I have not written in a few days...here are some thoughts I had whilst away from my blog spot.

*I saw 'He's Just Not That Into You' and I feel I have to publicly announce my alliance to the romantic comedy genre. I know people like to make fun of them and act like they're too good for them, but most of the great movies are some form of romantic comedy. The movie itself (HJNTIY) was pretty good, not great, but better than most of the movies I've seen in the last year. Is this due to the fact that I seem to go to shit movies more often than good ones? That's not the point! Though it should be looked in to. This is just me sticking up for the romantic comedy, the film equivalent of power pop.

*A guy I work with told me that Limp Bizkit is getting back together. I was visibly bummed out, and then he says, "...and another band too, oh who was it?" To which I say, "Whoever it is, it can't be worse than Limp Bizkit." He thinks for a few minutes, and it comes to him, "...oh! Creed." Wow, it totally can be worse. This is a very good time for the Creeds to come back since Religi-rock has never been bigger. It's not just for pre-fab ultra modern chapel-adiums anymore, crazy punks love jesus now. Kids with tight aqua colored jeans, long long red hair, and the most elaborate studded belt you've ever seen all love the big jc. Creed can do a duet with Paramore and be right back on the charts.

*I have seen every Friday the 13th movie except "Jason goes to Hell". How did that one slip through the cracks? How did it come to be that I've seen the one with the halfway house with the impostor Jason like 10 times, but I never came across Jason in hell. Is he in hell? Apparently he just explodes and parts of him take over other people (the creepy crawly parts that seem to look very similar to the villain in The Hidden). Oh well.

*David Letterman is the best.

*Marie Calendar's frozen lasagna may seem like it's not done, but it is.

*Tim and Eric Awesome Show: Great Job! Season 2 DVD is a LET DOWN! That's right, you heard it straight from me. Tom Goes to the Mayor and T&EASGJ Season 1 had commentaries on every episode and this one has NONE on ANY. What a damn bummer. It's 10 episodes that are each 11 minutes long, they can't set aside 110(ish) minutes to talk about the shit? Then you get like 3 minutes of bloopers, and some pretty uninteresting deleted and extended scenes. Plus the 4 hours of Awesomecon and their live show which...I'm sorry...I'm not interested in either. I don't want to see any other T&E fans, I just wanna see the show. Why would I be interested in seeing some random dude singing along, badly, to 'Come Over'? It's probably me, I've always had a weird thing about fans of shit. People that are super into stuff, probably because I get super into shit. Like, if I went to a live T&E show and had to hear crowds of people doing lines from the show and angling themselves close enough to try and pat T or E on the back, it would ruin the whole experience. Alright, I just had to get that off my chest. I mean, the dvd box didn't say anything about commentaries and I still bought it so I knew what was coming. I was just bummed. Season 4, one episode in, is awesome. The funniest shit around, but sometimes you gotta vent. QUAD.

*Stella Artois is the best beer.

(Just as I'm finishing this entry "Rats Off to Ya" comes on Adult Swim. Wow. I love when the little girl is on Santa/the Mayor's lap and she asks for "a balloon man" and "an action car" and "a new door". Not to mention Bob Odenkirk voicing the concept of "Sour Lemon Vibrations". ROTY.)

Monday, February 2, 2009

SUPER TOILET BOWL

So, yeah, I think only one of my SB predictions came true (nachos), but if not for that last drive maybe at least one more would have. I didn't even watch much of the game until the last quarter anyway...I was just psyched for The Office.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

SUPER BOWL SUNDAE

The end of the season in which I watch my team come back from the brink of ridiculousness and make a decent playoff run. It was also the season in which my two least favorite/most hated (positive v. negative) teams each made their conference championship and, to my delight, lost.

Football, I will miss you in the coming months. Time shall only make the heart grow fonder.

Super Bowl predictions:

Final score: Steelers: 17, Cardinals: 28
MVP: Kurt Warner feat. Jesus, or Larry Fitzgerald
Game Excitement Level 1-10: 6.5
Most delicious snack I will eat: Nachos
Amount of times Commentators will use the word 'palpable': 2
Amount of times Commentators will mention Jessica Simpson's weight: 11