Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Re-post as "my life according to (band name)"
Pick your Artist:
Destroyer
Are you a male or female?
Son of the Earth
Describe yourself:
Virgin with a Memory
How do you feel:
Notorious Lightning
If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
It's Gonna Take an Airplane
What's your best friends name:
Hey, Snow White
What's the weather like:
Goddess of Drought
Favorite time of day:
The Sublimation Hour
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
New Ways of Living
What is life to you:
The Music Lovers
Something you would say:
A Dangerous Woman Up to a Point
What is the best advice you have to give:
Don't Become the Thing You Hated
Thought for the Day:
Dark Leaves Form a Thread
How I would like to die:
The Space Race
Something bothersome:
School, and the Girls Who Go There
Describe your friends:
Rubies
My motto:
To the Heart of the Sun on the Back of a Vulture, I'll Go
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
DISTANCE LIBS: VOLUME EIGHT
"ADVERTISEMENT"
Seeking a new career? Be an ascot or just look like one! In just 5 7/8ths sessions, we can have you spelunking, basket weaving, and whittling like a top-playing asbestos mine. Opportunities in this reptilian field are limitless. There is no fee! Just come in for a free consultation. Our expert Belgian waffles will analyze your wristwatch and determine your potential for success in this slippery field. Use your natural pot roast to earn mischievous money and have time to waddle your dreams, too. Just ask Christie's doppelganger, who came to us looking like a goulash out of the neighborhood of cats and in just ten days we improved her yellow-bellied marmot 100%. We even corrected her horrible moon rock. It was just in the nick of time because the sardoodledom squad was ready to ban her from the the first ingredient in every recipe for success. Don't wait another day. Time is running out.
Seeking a new career? Be an ascot or just look like one! In just 5 7/8ths sessions, we can have you spelunking, basket weaving, and whittling like a top-playing asbestos mine. Opportunities in this reptilian field are limitless. There is no fee! Just come in for a free consultation. Our expert Belgian waffles will analyze your wristwatch and determine your potential for success in this slippery field. Use your natural pot roast to earn mischievous money and have time to waddle your dreams, too. Just ask Christie's doppelganger, who came to us looking like a goulash out of the neighborhood of cats and in just ten days we improved her yellow-bellied marmot 100%. We even corrected her horrible moon rock. It was just in the nick of time because the sardoodledom squad was ready to ban her from the the first ingredient in every recipe for success. Don't wait another day. Time is running out.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Distance Libs: Volume Seven
"A Review of a Dinosaur Movie"
Despite its title, Dinosaurs are for Bedazzling is far from being an erroneous comedy. It is really a Burt Reynoldsy horror movie. From its indelible opening until its astronomical ending, it keeps you sitting on the edge of your cafeteria. In this film, the ever-popular Dewey Decimal gives the performance of his luscious career. He plays the role of a scientist who, in searching for the Fountain of Botanist, accidentally discovers a huge beast that feasts on living kinky wizards. The last ten minutes of the movie are scary enough to make your feet bones pop out of your rocky serpentine hill top and your nomads stand on end. The movie is rated Zed, meaning children under twelve must be accompanied by a Sally Ride.
Despite its title, Dinosaurs are for Bedazzling is far from being an erroneous comedy. It is really a Burt Reynoldsy horror movie. From its indelible opening until its astronomical ending, it keeps you sitting on the edge of your cafeteria. In this film, the ever-popular Dewey Decimal gives the performance of his luscious career. He plays the role of a scientist who, in searching for the Fountain of Botanist, accidentally discovers a huge beast that feasts on living kinky wizards. The last ten minutes of the movie are scary enough to make your feet bones pop out of your rocky serpentine hill top and your nomads stand on end. The movie is rated Zed, meaning children under twelve must be accompanied by a Sally Ride.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Bright Lit Blue Skies
I finally made it to the library after days of trying. I feel compelled to write in my blog since I have so few chances these days. As an update, I've been fine. How've you been? Wonderful, glad to hear it.
I've been a lazy so-and-so lately, in my head I can attribute this to picking up slack at a job where I already do more work than anyone else, but in reality I attribute it to not getting enough sleep and watching TV. Both theories have their merits, but it's always to get out this time fo year. The grass is fresh cut, one of the top 5 smells of ever, and the longer days make for some rather pleasant pre-night drives.
Lately I've been feeling sluggish so I've been contemplating joining a gym, something I never ever thought I'd do. Since I'm trying to convince myself that it's a good idea I've had to formulate scenarios in my head that I can't let myself miss:
1. A slightly older gentleman passes me yelling into his cell phone, "What do you mean he quit the team? We've got a big match against (as of yet unnamed town, leaning toward Townsberry) tomorrow and now we've got no 3rd baseman! I guess we'll have to forfeit!" That's when I step up and say, "Hey pal, tell them you'll BE THERE! I will play, I will SAVE THE DAY!" And then I'm MVP of the Over 25 Central New Jersey Men's Softball League World Championship. I know that's not a thing, but leave my fantasies alone.
2. I would hate to miss the opportunity to point out the slight irony that I prefer to work out on the stationary bike, but actually have no idea how to ride a bike. Good conversation starter.
3. A pool any time I want to go swimming. Not a fantasy, but a beautiful reality.
4. One day I'm quietly singing to myself somewhere, maybe the locker room, maybe the racquetball court and some dude pops up out of nowhere and says, "You are the best singer in town! Please join my band which is awesome." Hopefully by this time I would be in tip-top shape for the promo photos of my new group, Whisper Club. (I don't know why I like that name so much but I do, if you like you can substitute one of the following: A B C and the D's, Raccoon Suit, Cool Sandwich, or Jurassic Punk.)
5. I actually get out of the house and stop feeling like crap.
Since not much else has been going on, here's what else has been going on:
White Denim - "Fits", the new David Cross comedy CD, 30 Rock reruns, finding out that Best Buy still sell Walkmans (is that the plural? Either way, score!), Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - "Before Tomorrow", the song "Eye in the Sky" by The Alan Parsons Project, Crystal Castles, The Morning Benders, Field Music, trying to save some money so I can buy stuff off Amazon, debating whether or not to renew my GQ subscription, books on CD, using Facebook at work, and reading Twitter at breakfast.
Other than that...not much.
I've been a lazy so-and-so lately, in my head I can attribute this to picking up slack at a job where I already do more work than anyone else, but in reality I attribute it to not getting enough sleep and watching TV. Both theories have their merits, but it's always to get out this time fo year. The grass is fresh cut, one of the top 5 smells of ever, and the longer days make for some rather pleasant pre-night drives.
Lately I've been feeling sluggish so I've been contemplating joining a gym, something I never ever thought I'd do. Since I'm trying to convince myself that it's a good idea I've had to formulate scenarios in my head that I can't let myself miss:
1. A slightly older gentleman passes me yelling into his cell phone, "What do you mean he quit the team? We've got a big match against (as of yet unnamed town, leaning toward Townsberry) tomorrow and now we've got no 3rd baseman! I guess we'll have to forfeit!" That's when I step up and say, "Hey pal, tell them you'll BE THERE! I will play, I will SAVE THE DAY!" And then I'm MVP of the Over 25 Central New Jersey Men's Softball League World Championship. I know that's not a thing, but leave my fantasies alone.
2. I would hate to miss the opportunity to point out the slight irony that I prefer to work out on the stationary bike, but actually have no idea how to ride a bike. Good conversation starter.
3. A pool any time I want to go swimming. Not a fantasy, but a beautiful reality.
4. One day I'm quietly singing to myself somewhere, maybe the locker room, maybe the racquetball court and some dude pops up out of nowhere and says, "You are the best singer in town! Please join my band which is awesome." Hopefully by this time I would be in tip-top shape for the promo photos of my new group, Whisper Club. (I don't know why I like that name so much but I do, if you like you can substitute one of the following: A B C and the D's, Raccoon Suit, Cool Sandwich, or Jurassic Punk.)
5. I actually get out of the house and stop feeling like crap.
Since not much else has been going on, here's what else has been going on:
White Denim - "Fits", the new David Cross comedy CD, 30 Rock reruns, finding out that Best Buy still sell Walkmans (is that the plural? Either way, score!), Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - "Before Tomorrow", the song "Eye in the Sky" by The Alan Parsons Project, Crystal Castles, The Morning Benders, Field Music, trying to save some money so I can buy stuff off Amazon, debating whether or not to renew my GQ subscription, books on CD, using Facebook at work, and reading Twitter at breakfast.
Other than that...not much.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Distance Libs: Volume Six
"In the Good Old Summertime"
Many selective laser discs prefer the Summer Olympics to the Winter Coconuts. They respond awkwardly to such swimming and waddling competitions as the hundred-meter striking-style race, the 862-meter funny bone-stroke race, and, of course, the diving contests in which nickels dive off a high doppelganger and do triple beach balls in the air before landing in the pickle juice. Equally fascinating are the track and Cornish game hen events in which sluggishly conditioned paddle boats compete for gold Billy Goats. They compete in such exciting events as the 1,500-crossing guard race, the hundred-sombrero dash, the ever-popular peach pie vaulting, and, last but not least, throwing the hammer, the javelin, and the saloon.
Many selective laser discs prefer the Summer Olympics to the Winter Coconuts. They respond awkwardly to such swimming and waddling competitions as the hundred-meter striking-style race, the 862-meter funny bone-stroke race, and, of course, the diving contests in which nickels dive off a high doppelganger and do triple beach balls in the air before landing in the pickle juice. Equally fascinating are the track and Cornish game hen events in which sluggishly conditioned paddle boats compete for gold Billy Goats. They compete in such exciting events as the 1,500-crossing guard race, the hundred-sombrero dash, the ever-popular peach pie vaulting, and, last but not least, throwing the hammer, the javelin, and the saloon.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Distance Libs: Volume Five
How to Enjoy Yourself on the Beach
When you go to the beach, you must take along a big blanket, a thermos bottle full of Green Tea Frappuccino, lots of suntan bargain book, and a couple of folding ham sandwiches. Then you put on your tricorne so you can get a beautiful fuchsia to last you all summer. You also should have a big hat to keep the sun off your nostril. If you want exercise, you can find some landspeeders to play volleyball with. Volleyball is America's favorite soft game. You can also bring a robust lunch, such as hard-boiled oscillating fans, a few Phillippine Mouse-deer sandwiches with mustard, and some bottles of Cabo Wabo cola. If you remember all of the above and get a place near a plentiful lifeguard, you can sunbathe sideways all day.
When you go to the beach, you must take along a big blanket, a thermos bottle full of Green Tea Frappuccino, lots of suntan bargain book, and a couple of folding ham sandwiches. Then you put on your tricorne so you can get a beautiful fuchsia to last you all summer. You also should have a big hat to keep the sun off your nostril. If you want exercise, you can find some landspeeders to play volleyball with. Volleyball is America's favorite soft game. You can also bring a robust lunch, such as hard-boiled oscillating fans, a few Phillippine Mouse-deer sandwiches with mustard, and some bottles of Cabo Wabo cola. If you remember all of the above and get a place near a plentiful lifeguard, you can sunbathe sideways all day.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Chess on Ice
I haven't written here in a while, mainly due to the fact that I've been blocked from my blog at work. Not only mine, but any blog of any kind, even my old Livejournal. I don't know what could have prompted them to block me from it after more than a year of access, but I guess that's just how it goes. As it is, I'm writing this at my desk at work, and will simply cut and paste later. Nobody gonna break-a my stride, nobody gonna hold me down, woah no.
The past couple weeks have seen four of my friends open their own businesses, while in Brian news, I spent a good deal of time watching 30 Rock and eating Cheez-Its. I know it's dumb to compare my life to my friends', but it's hard not to. I don't think I'm quite dynamic enough to start my own business, I don't even know if that's the word I'm looking for, my overwhelming Type B-ness wouldn't make for a great business owner. It does give you that left behind feeling, though I guess if yr not doing anything to move forward yr more so just staying behind. So, needless to say, I've been a little antsy in my old familiar home lately, dreaming of all the exotic destinations I could relocate to and really kick-start my life. Adding to the confusion is the question of what the hell I even want to do, but I don't think anyone knows that. I think maybe 12% of people know absolutely what they want to do with their life, that's as high as I'll go, I think everyone else kind of just picks a direction and starts walking, some slower than others. I tend to believe that you just fall into yr career path, I'm certainly not looking for a career in Communications, I don't even know what that entails. I just liked taking classes where I got to talk about weird stuff in front of people (Epiphany?). My life kind of feels like Ralphie on the slide, I just told Santa that I want a football and his helpers are pushing me down, all the while in my head it's "Wake up stupid! Wake up!" I really need to make it known that I want a Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle, and I can't be worried about shooting my eye out.
In the interest of posterity here's a rather truncated list of what's recently been makin' me moooove:
Sufjan Stevens - "Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois"
Surfer Blood - "Swim"
LCD Soundsystem - "All I Want"
Mika Miko - "Sex"
Tom Vek - "That Can Be Arranged"
Blue Cheer - "Come and Get It"
Kurt Vile - "Freeway"
The National - "Lemonworld"
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - "Round and Round"
The New Pornographers - "If You Can't See My Mirrors"
Thee Headcoatees - "Shadow"
Epilogue:
As soon as Ghostwriter comes out I'm buying it, along with seasons 1 and 2 of The Adventures of Pete & Pete. Quality summer programming.
The past couple weeks have seen four of my friends open their own businesses, while in Brian news, I spent a good deal of time watching 30 Rock and eating Cheez-Its. I know it's dumb to compare my life to my friends', but it's hard not to. I don't think I'm quite dynamic enough to start my own business, I don't even know if that's the word I'm looking for, my overwhelming Type B-ness wouldn't make for a great business owner. It does give you that left behind feeling, though I guess if yr not doing anything to move forward yr more so just staying behind. So, needless to say, I've been a little antsy in my old familiar home lately, dreaming of all the exotic destinations I could relocate to and really kick-start my life. Adding to the confusion is the question of what the hell I even want to do, but I don't think anyone knows that. I think maybe 12% of people know absolutely what they want to do with their life, that's as high as I'll go, I think everyone else kind of just picks a direction and starts walking, some slower than others. I tend to believe that you just fall into yr career path, I'm certainly not looking for a career in Communications, I don't even know what that entails. I just liked taking classes where I got to talk about weird stuff in front of people (Epiphany?). My life kind of feels like Ralphie on the slide, I just told Santa that I want a football and his helpers are pushing me down, all the while in my head it's "Wake up stupid! Wake up!" I really need to make it known that I want a Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle, and I can't be worried about shooting my eye out.
In the interest of posterity here's a rather truncated list of what's recently been makin' me moooove:
Sufjan Stevens - "Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois"
Surfer Blood - "Swim"
LCD Soundsystem - "All I Want"
Mika Miko - "Sex"
Tom Vek - "That Can Be Arranged"
Blue Cheer - "Come and Get It"
Kurt Vile - "Freeway"
The National - "Lemonworld"
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - "Round and Round"
The New Pornographers - "If You Can't See My Mirrors"
Thee Headcoatees - "Shadow"
Epilogue:
As soon as Ghostwriter comes out I'm buying it, along with seasons 1 and 2 of The Adventures of Pete & Pete. Quality summer programming.
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